Questions 19 and 20

Why purple?
-Dietshfdsagh

Dear Dietshfdsagh, such a deep, meaningful inquiry could not have been answered lightly. That is why I started my latest journey to find the meaning in the purple light. I spent a week with the Tibetan monks (a shout out to Wangdu! Man, you the best!), digging in my soul until the answer finally came to me in a dream, such a purple vision, a total revelation, and it looked like this:

Do the questions have to be in english?
-Rosa

وذلك بفضل الترجمة من Google انا مزيج من اللغات ولكن حتى أنت! هذا هو الشيء العظيم في شبكة الانترنت المقدسة.

بعد سنوات عديدة من البحث واسعة النطاق، وكان مدير أعمالي جمعت أدلة صلبة بما فيه الكفاية التي كشفت أن معظم قرائي تقع في Purpletonya، وهي مجرة ​​بعيدة (يمينا بعد مجرة المرأة المسلسلة، والذهاب مباشرة لحوالي 9،876 سنة ضوئية وعليك يكون هناك في أي وقت من الأوقات *) وفي الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية. ماذا هذه لهما في الشائعة التي قد يتساءل؟ حسنا، إلى جانب cheeseburguers، وكلاهما التحدث باللغة الإنجليزية. وهذا هو السبب لا بد لي من الكتابة في هذه اللغة، انها كل شيء عن إظهار القليل من الحب لجمهورك.

* تنويه: لا ينبغي أن تؤخذ حرفيا.

TRANSLATION

My beloved Rosa, you don't have to worry about language, you can ask me your questions in any language that you might choose. Thanks to Google Translate I am a polyglot but so are you! That's the great thing about the holy internet.  

After many years of extensive research, my manager had gathered enough solid evidence that revealed that most of my readers are located in Purpletonya,  a galaxy far away (turn right after the Andromeda Galaxy, and go straight for about 9,876 light years and you'll be there in no time*) and in the United States of America. What do these two have in common you might wonder? Well, besides cheeseburguers, they both speak English. And that's why I have to write in this language, it's all about showing a little love to your audience.

*Disclaimer: not to be taken literally.

Questions 17 and 18

Shaina, how can we save the world?

-Adriana

Long time no see Adriana! Well, in order to save the world, you would need to be a very special superhero, or superheroine in our case. This means that you'd need to have special qualities like courage, solidarity, compassion and honesty,  you would absolutely have to already found out what R-E-S-P-E-C-T means. You'd need to be smart, funny, beautiful and wear a purple uniform, basically what I'm telling you is that in order to save the world you would need to be me,  you know Shaina, but worry not! I'm on the look for a sidekick, please make sure to send in your application. I can't promise you we will save the world together but at least you get a chance to stand by me when I do =) Peace Out!

Who came first, chicken or eggs? =/

-Le Munkz

I'm so glad you have given me a chance to unveil the truth around this highly debated question Le Munkz. You see, if we go back in time, we'll meet Maggy the chicken (names have been changed to protect the parties' privacy) even tho she was 32, in chicken years of course, she could not conceive a chick of her own. The desperate little bird went to the Rocks and Stones Adoption Agency to see if they could help her. Mr. Cajun, the President of the Agency, who also happened to be a retired mad scientist, made her a proposition:
Decades ago he had been working on a special capsule that was meant to achieve World Peace somehow but since the Russian tried to steal it from him, the E.G.G, as he named it, had been hidden. If he could combine the E.G.G with his Size Reduction Laser, the Tinytor 3000, another of his shelved experiments, he could provide her with the long wanted desire, a chick of her own! Well almost, he would have to take one of the orphan chicks, shoot it with the Tinytor 3000 and then put it inside the E.G.G. After that, all Maggy had to do was swallow the capsule and then give birth to her baby. As crazy as it might have seem, Maggy accepted as she was a very desperate chicken.
Days went by and Maggy finally gave birth to her precious little one. All the chickens in her neighborhood became fascinated with this new form of reproduction and it wasn't long before it became popular in the bird community world wide. Mr. Cajun returned to his previous career  and even won a Nobel Prize.
So, if we take into account that the E.G.G. was invented years before Maggy was even born, then the answer is quite simple. The egg came first.

Questions 15 and 16

Why is purple the best color?
-Lei

Yo Lei Lei Lei! #A020F0 is the best color BECAUSE I SAY SO! And since I rule the world my word is THE word. Just kidding. Purple is the best color because it won the contest. Every 7654324567890 million years there's a contest, more like a pageant, in which all colors, (even those indistinguishable by the Human Eye) compete for the Best Color in the Universe title. So, for about 7654324567889 million years purple will still be the best color! ^^.

Shaina, why is your ass so round, beautiful and perfect?
-b1gd1ck

Woah! $m@lld1ck is still in town! Well, you see, once I was watching E! and this reality show called Doctor 90210 was on. I instantly became fascinated by his skills, so I gave him a call, got an appointment and BAM! He worked his magic on my derrière! I recommend him 100%, maybe you should have a talk with him about your little issue, if you know what I mean...

Questions 13 and 14

How am I going to end up in life?

-Jonatán Vila :D

Jonatán, good to see you around! I hate to break it to you, but you'll end up as every other living creature, dead.

Do you think a man (say, 6'4" tall) and a girl (thin, about 5'4") look good together? Or just plain awkward... I know this has a lot to do with the couple as a whole.  but just based on size, what do you think about that?

-b1gd1ck

Hey $m@lld1ck! No, no can do. Not only the two of you would look ridiculous together but it might bring great disgrace to both of your families, it's a Feng Shui thing, I doubt you'd understand.

Questions 11 and 12

Is it bad to think in things that people dont think in/know of?

-LSD

Of course not, that's called being a visionary. Leonardo da Vinci, for example, was a great visionary. Also   Galileo Galilei, he was always looking through his telescope to know if the Earth really stood still as the Church had always said and like people believed, of course he ended up incarcerated and blind! hmmm...   Also when Adam and Eve started to think in the things they shouldn't have everything went south! If you open your eyes you might be able to see the pattern, so if you want to live a happy long life you better stick with the heard LSD, think inside the box, DON'T LEAVE THE BOX, STICK TO IT!!!!

Im in love with Shaina and I can't stop thinking about her, is that wrong?

-Steven

It might be SERIOUSLY wrong if you forget you need to breathe because you are only thinking about her (me)! As you might know, breathing is a essential process in our lives as Aerobic organisms!!! If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, If you don't breathe you die, repeat until you are certain you will not forget it. You need to remember that if don't love Shaina you might still get a shot at life, but without the oxygen acquired through breathing you will absolutely die! Love breathing!

Questions 9 and 10

Why do men have nipples?

-LSD

That's an easy question and the answer is: "Because all humans are female prior to the 7th week in the wound of the mother, that's when the male fetus starts to produce hormones." So yeah, for about 6 weeks of your life you were a GIRL. I hope that doesn't interfere with your sexual life. You were a girl, but now you are a boy, simple. Now, cuz that was such an easy question, I propose you this one instead: Why, against all good sense of engineering, are testicles on the outside?

Does God exist? How? Where?

-LSD

Yes he does. How? Well, it all started when his father and mother had sex and became pregnant, or if you are under 10 then he exists because the stork delivered him. Where? I'd tell you he is in a house in L.A with his roommates Santa and the Easter Bunny but since they are under the witness protection program and Darth Vader is looking for them, I'll tell that I don't know where he is...

Question 8

Why do people fear death?

-Lei

Do people fear death? I wasn't aware of this. I thought people loved death and they loved going to funerals cause everyone looks splendid in black. I even planned going to 3 funerals one day with my friends! There are also a thousand TV shows about the topic too and they are so popular!!! When did this fear thing started? OMG I fear not knowing the answer!!! T.T

Question 7

Shaina, why the waffles are so tasty to me, yet, I haven't eaten one in my life?

-Lei

Hello Lei, glad to see your first question. The reason that this happens Lei is that you are sexually aroused by square shaped food. Don't try to deny, just embrace that reality! If you don't believe this just search "square watermelon" and you'll find yourself drooling all over your keyboard. Another proof is that you have tried pancakes but don't actually "love" them just cause they are so round, and let's face it; waffles and pancakes are basically the same!

Yours answerly, Shaina.

Question 6

Dear Shaina:

When is Joma going to be my girlfriend?

-Viann Chan

Dear Viann, I hate to break it to you but it seems like Joma is after a bigger, more prehistoric yet purpler "male" figure; yes, Joma is in love with Barney... So even if things don't work out so well with him, Joma's second choice would be a vampire. That little girl has a peculiar taste in men, but we are not here to judge; just answer questions.

Question 5

Dear Shaina,

1. Why?

2. If we dig a hole from here (Santiago, Dominican Republic), where would we end up on the other side of the world?

ATT: Rafa

1) Rafa darling! Why not? WHY NOT?! You have got to get yourself a new positive and open attitude. Openness is the key. If you follow my advice you'll start to see that there are more than 7 colors in the rainbow. Why not?!, remember, why not?!.

2) Sadly we wouldn't end up in China. The antipodal (opposite point of any place in the world) of Santiago, D.R. is the Indian Ocean. So next time you try to get yourself on a little trip to the other side of the world make sure to pack your bathing suit along with a lifesaver or inflatable boat. ;)

Question 4

I want to know where will I meet him, and how. And also what should I do when it happens?

-Joma

Dear Joma, glad to see you've come back for more wise advices! About "the encounter", it'll happen when you least expect it, trust me! When it happens you should just tell him that you love him too, cuz that's really what Barney likes to hear when you first meet him. I know it's kinda odd to talk about love the first time you meet someone but he's a giant purple dinosaur for god's sake; there's nothing normal about it!!!

Question 3

Shaina, How do I decide my profession? How do I know what my true passion is?

-Adriana

Dear Adriana, I advice you to go back to basics. What do you wanted to be as a little girl? Find something related to it and you'll find your true passion.

e.g If You wanted to be a Ballet Dancer become a Pole Dancer, if you wanted to be like Barbie become a Hooker, If you wanted to be a vet become a Greenpeace activist!!!

Good luck with that!!!

First questions!!!

Question 1

I wanna know if I like a friend of mine

-Amalfi Eguren

Dear Amalfi, I think you already know the answer; not only you DO like your friend but YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM! Don't forget to invite me to the engagement party or the wedding.

Question 2

Please, tell me the world is not going to end in two weeks from now.

-Joma

Dear Joma, of course the world won't end in two weeks; it's going to end in two years from now (years not weeks) exactly on December 21st 2012, probably at 12:12, now the real mystery is if it'll end at 12:12PM or 12:12AM...

Hope you all can sleep better now, keep the questions coming!

Hello!!!

This is my new blog Ask Shaina as you can see :P In this blog you can ask anything you wish to know, doesn't matter how ridiculous it might sound, I promise I will give you a funny, clever but completely senseless answer.

Why ask Shaina?

Cause Google is not enough...

Cause you're bored...

Cause Twitter is over capacity...

Cause books have too many pages...

Cause there are no new updates in Facebook...

Cause there's nothing on TV...

Cause no other Shaina will answer your question like Shaina...

Or simply cause you want to be amused by my answer!!!

To ask questions you can either leave a comment on the blog or send me an email at Ask.Shaina.Blog@gmail.com

Happy asking everyone, peace and love!!!